Spilled Milk Love

Your Hot Damn Mess is Holy

You just see a hot damn mess, but love, your hot damn mess is holy.

Those secrets you are keeping, that mess you have your arms so tightly wrapped around, the old worn cardboard box
– duct taped together with the bottom falling out- you’re desperately trying to hold onto, that is your truth.

You have such strength friend, to have carried it for so long. But it’s heavy (trust me I know), too heavy to carry forever.
You’re draped in exhaustion and you need to rest. You have hauled that mess around long enough.
It’s ok to let it go.
You need to let it go.

Release your grip. Let the box fall to the ground with a thud, then drop to your knees and be still.
Breathe deeply.
Feel the relief of surrender wash over you.
Ruminate in the truth of Najwa’s words and know that you were carrying mountains you were only ever supposed to climb.

Once you have caught your breath, reach into the box and tenderly pick up each secret one by one.
They are so much lighter than they seemed when you were struggling to hold them, aren’t they?
Admire their jagged broken edges and feel their weight- really feel it- as you cup them in your hands.
Can you feel their energy?
They are broken birds waiting for you to set them free.

Treat them with reverence and love, as we should all holy things, and then unfurl your fingers and let them go.
Do not worry about where they will land or who will find them and pick them up.
Do not worry over how closely people will examine them or over what brokenness people will see and not understand.
They are the world’s to keep now, not yours.

This is a beginning cloaked in an ending, a resurrection of your truth. Rise.

Do it all with love.

6 Comments

  1. Reply

    Saundra Hazellief Rohn

    Thank you Annie for reminding me that letting go
    is a good thing.
    Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV
    “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

  2. Reply

    Saundra Rohn

    Thank you Annie for reminding me it’s ok to let go.
    It brought to mind this scripture.
    Looking forward to more writing in your 27th Year.
    Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV / 638 helpful votes
    “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

    1. Reply

      Saundra Hazellief Rohn

      Sorry for double post?

    2. Reply

      spilledmilklove@gmail.com

      What a beautiful, appropriate, verse! “I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” is so perfect.

  3. Reply

    Esther Wallace

    Annie, this is beautiful and profound. Thank you for gifting us with this; I needed this today (this week? month? year? lifetime?). Your voice is powerful and transformative. I can’t wait to read more.

    1. Reply

      spilledmilklove@gmail.com

      Oh Esther, high praise coming from you! When I think of powerful and transformative people, you are high on my list, sister. So appreciate your kind words but even more appreciate the example you set. I learn every day from watching souls like yours at work.

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